The Origins of Man
Prologue
The Origin of Man is a subject which everyone seems to stumble across during their life. Many believe that Man, in its current form, evolved from apes. Yet many others believe Man is a creation of a Divine Being. That, however, was before humans conquered space. Over thousands of years, scientists had created, improved and refined technology to the point where space travel was both possible and viable. With this new path to explore, Man stopped being the primeval jelly which it once was and became the feared monster it is now.
There is only one way to look at the Origin of Man, and that is to look at the origin of one man. In particular, one by the name of Robin Cooper. Just like half of his prehistoric species Robin was male. Being male in the year 3058 meant he was expected to become something important and, just like half of male population, he failed. He failed in such a manner that by the age of 26 the only hope for him was to enroll in Space Academy. Which, in itself, was a festering cauldron of barely human, barely sentient college drop-outs.
Robin Cooper was accepted into the Space Academy under pity, like most of his kind, and was trained to a barely competent standard. He specialized in Light Craft Engineering which allowed him to grasp the extreme basics of Propulsion. Armed with this knowledge and four years of being harassed by a small green alien, Robin finally set out to get some sort of sponsorship. At least, that was his plan.
Chapter 1
“Good morning.” blurted a cheery voice into Robin’s left ear.
“Ugh…what time is it?”
“Bzzzrrt…twelve past fifty six?” replied the cheery voice.
“That’s not even a time…now go away.”
Robin brushed his hand roughly in the direction of the cheery voice and happened to strike lucky. The little green alien flew across to room and landed in the corner with a decisive ‘Flop’. Sulkily the little alien picked itself up, brushed the dust of its eight legs and disappeared into one of the many holes in Robin’s cabin.
During the happy days of the Chaotic Universe sponsorships were plentiful. Robin had no trouble finding one after he left the Space Academy, although he now wished he chose a different sponsor. Robin was on a ship called the Omega Chicken; named after a mystical bird which lived a thousand years before. He was stationed on the ship as the Chief Engineer and was up for promotion. This basically meant if the Captain died Robin would be in charge. Luckily for Robin, today was the day he would be promoted. He just didn’t know that yet.
The Omega Chicken was trading in a Galaxy called the Nexus when the Navigation Computer made a fatal mistake and warped the ship and her crew into the criminal abyss named the Volcom’s Hideout. While Robin was asleep, the Omega Chicken engaged a fairly large number of enemy ships in combat. Through sheer luck the ship survived the ravenous attacks by the Volcoms. The only casualty was the Captain, who died from a heart attack. With no Captain and Robin as the future, many of the crew chose to use their Escape Pods to get away to safety. Luckily for Robin, three people stayed behind. Hank, Shuin and Dave were the remaining crew. Not by choice because all the Escape Pods ran out. Hank was the Chief Engineer’s Apprentice and soon to be Chief Engineer, Shuin was the Communications Officer and Dave was the small green alien.
At three past ten, Robin decided to get up and have a coffee. As he walked past the bridge towards the hole called The Kitchen, he failed to notice the smashed view screens and flickering lights. Standing by the fridge, which was the warmest place in the ship, he drank his coffee in detached thought. He couldn’t help but think that it was eerily quiet; there were no screaming people with burning oil on their faces and there were no mumbling priests or crying babies.
After considering the lack of noise, which took half an hour, Robin walked onto the bridge. What he found did not remotely disturb his puny mind, the only thought that crossed it was, ‘What a mess…’. With complete contentment, Robin started to move bodies into piles and to straighten tables and chairs. Just as Robin was about to lift up the Captain’s Seat, Shuin slithered (as far as humans can slither) into the Bridge.
“That’s yours now,” she said.
“I know,” Robin replied.
“So…where are we going?”
Robin pondered a while before he answered this extremely hard question, well, at least hard for a man of his small IQ.
“To a place…far, far away.”
“Yes?”
“Yup.”
Epilogue
This is how modern Man in the times of Star Sonata became. A man of small stature and a moustache with the IQ of a regular Martian Cow. A lower than standard man called Robin Cooper was the first of the Human Race to explore past the outer reaches of known space, visiting places such as Rumble Mumble, The End of the Universe and Bipolar. Along the way he and his crew of three left little notices floating in space, they eventually evolved due to radiation making the small skin flakes merge with the paper to form the feared Big Green alien ships. So the next time your ship gets ripped to shreds by a Big Green, remember Robin Cooper.
The End
Takuhi
